37/50: Illinois


I don’t like change. I like to plan things and I stick with them. I tend to gravitate toward the familiar because it is what I know and like. This is ironic in face of the fact that I will try new things and I don’t mind venturing out on my own. While some may see me as adventuresome, I am also fairly cautious and don’t like to venture out too much.

I had originally planned to spend a night in Indiana, but as I thought about it (and realized that Gary wasn’t quite as I imagined it to be), I decided that I would rather spend an extra day in Chicago instead and also see if I could get tickets to Hamilton. Chicago is one of my favourite cities and I was thankful for the opportunity to return and walk around enjoying the sites of the city along with some interesting people watching.


Grief is one of those things that causes upheaval and change in one’s life. Sometimes I wonder if my tendency to cling to the familiar and resist change is in order to maintain some sense of control in life. Grief shows us the areas where we lack control. Loss disrupts the regular rhythm of life. It disrupts emotions. It comes upon us unexpectedly. And yet as we allow it to disrupt our days, and attend to it, this paves the way for healing. In moments where I have refused it, it causes more disruption later on. Healing and life flow out of our attention to grief.


So, as I mentioned, I did change my plans and although it meant a longer driving day, the result was wonderful. I was able to go see Hamilton. And that too was wonderful. For those of you who don’t know what Hamilton is, look it up- it’s a great musical. The guy who wrote it, Lin-Manuel Miranda, also wrote one of my favourite musicals, In The Heights. This one did not disappoint either- it was fantastic. It’s one of those musicals that has so many layers and stays with you for weeks afterwards.


I also visited my friends, Courtney & Nate. I was in Chicago over a year ago for their wedding and it was fun to see them again. We decided to follow up Hamilton by seeing Spamilton, which was also fantastic, but for different reasons than Hamilton. 🙂 I am thankful for the gift of friendship and memories of seasons of life enjoyed together. And deep dish pizza too, because when in Chicago…


Even though I resist change, I am thankful for it. I don’t like my plans being disrupted and yet generally the end result is one that is full of life. The change itself might be painful and the process of dealing with that change difficult, but I am thankful for the opportunities for growth and a deepening of appreciating life in the midst of the hard, wonderful and the mundane.


One thought on “37/50: Illinois

  1. Now that sounds like a great change of plans, especially that you were able to spend time with friends and see some shows together! Hamilton and Spamilton?? lol


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